Monday, January 11, 2010

Lay It Down

I think I sit here tonight "therapeutically" blogging when I should be already in bed trying to sleep. I just simply can't lie down right now. I haven't reached that "sleepy point", yet. I listened to one of my favorite songs tonight and couldn't help but wonder if God deliberately laid that song on my heart. Because as I sang the words and thought about life in general, I realized that the song told me exactly what I needed to do...Lay It Down. I love to hear Jaci Velasquez sing. And when I think about the things that trouble me, her words in this song resound in my head and heart.

Recently, my grandfather became very sick, diagnosed with lung cancer, and I have watched his life change drastically since October to the point that last Friday while Jan and I were there with him, he just slept, probably not even aware of our presence. I hoped as I leaned over him and whispered, "I love you," that on some level he knew I was there. It's almost like a dream to think of him as he attended Mary Claire's 1st birthday just a little over 6 months ago in seemingly good health. And today, my "Meemaw" and his wife, was placed in assisted living. My life here on Earth with my wonderful grandparents seems to be starting to slip away...

So, I'm gonna lay it down.  
I'm gonna learn to trust You now.
What else can I do?
Everything I am depends on You.
And if the sun don't come back up
I know Your love will be enough.
I'm gonna let it be, I'm gonna let it go.
I'm gonna lay it down. 

Tomorrow morning, my little girl goes in for an MRI. We've seen a neurologist in the past week and the neurologist wants to get a clearer look at Mary Claire's condition. Yeah, I am afraid eventhough she seems perfectly normal. What mother wouldn't be afraid? 

'Cause all of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans
Are safe and secure when I place them in Your hands.

So, I'm gonna lay it down.
I'm gonna learn to trust You now.
What else can I do? Everything I am depends on You.
And if the sun don't come back up
I know Your love will be enough.
I'm gonna let it be, I'm gonna let it go,
I'm gonna lay it down.

And one day, if my children take the time to read this scrap"blog" of ours, I hope they'll walk away from this with the knowledge that no matter what troubles you in life, what hurts you or scares you, that you can find peace in knowing that God is there and He is in control and that we can trust in Him.
Just lay it down at God's feet.

4 comments:

Susan said...

I will be thinking of and praying for you and that precious MC tomorrow!
Love you!
Susan

Brandi Mignard said...

Your sweet baby girl are in our prayers. -Brandi

Elizabeth said...

Hope everything goes well with Mary Clair. You all are in our prayers

Kate said...

Thanks for sharing your heart. Your burdens seem to be great these days.