Sunday, August 30, 2009

Somewhere in the Middle

I now drive about 20 minutes to get to work every day. Now, this has been part of my "adjustment process"... especially since I was used to driving a very short 3 or 4 minute distance to work for 7 years! I've told myself that the biggest part of adjusting to the changes that have taken place in my life over the last few weeks is how I choose to view things. So, I have really tried to to find the positive in everything. And, actually, I have found that I enjoy the drive to work. I enjoy the time to settle down and use the time to think about what I need to do, I talk to John Owen (if he's in a talking mood), I take in the things I see, I enjoy listening to some of my favorite CD's, get the idea. I noticed not long after making the drive to and from school, that I pass at least 3 small churches along the way, all of whom have a message of some kind posted for passers-by like me to read. I always pay attention to these messages and often try to picture the person who came up with the words.
Certain messages, whether posted on a billboard or sign, or heard on a song from your favorite CD, can speak to you if you let them. There is a certain song on my Casting Crowns CD that I have let myself listen to almost everyday as I have traveled to and from my new job. I love it! I guess I like it so much because it reminds me in its message that I have to let God be in control of things.
Sadly, I confess, I can easily place myself as the subject in this song. In my immaturity as a Christian, I am still somewhere in the middle. This song reminds me everyday to pray that God will help me to seek Him and His plan for my life, and not always focus so much on my plan for my life! It's like my daily confession to Him. I just wanted to share the message of this song with you because it has spoken it's message to me so loud and clear.
Somewhere between the hot and the cold.
Somewhere between the new and the old.
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be.
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me.
Somewhere between the wrong and the right.
Somewhere between the darkness and the light.
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me.
Somewhere in the middle You'll find me.
(chorus) Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender?
Without losing all control?
We're fearless warriors in a picket fence
With wreckless abandon wrapped in common sense.
Deep water faith in the shallow end
And we are caught in the middle.
With eyes wide open to the differences
The God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His
Or are we caught in the middle?
Somewhere between my heart and my hands.
Somewhere between my faith and my plans.
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves.
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me.
Somewhere between a whisper and a roar.
Somewhere between the altar and the door.
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more.
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me.
(Repeat chorus)
(This is the part that I let myself focus on the most and the part that brings me comfort...)
Lord, I feel You in this place
And I know You're by my side.
Loving me even all these nights...
When I'm caught in the middle.


Laura Dawson said...

Thanks, Nicole, those lyrics speak to me also...I think maybe we all feel like you describe sometime...i wonder if we ever get to a place where we fell "content" with our Chrisitianity...I am not sure, I feel like I will always be searching for I have to go listen to the song on youtube!! Also great perspective on your drive to need a few minutes just to sit and reflect!

Kendra said...

My heart goes out to you b/c you certainly have had a LOT of changes: new job, new sitter, new school for Jonah, new Kindergarten boy...good grief! But, being in the middle is a good reminder that you are indeed going somewhere & He's not through with you yet!

Jan said...

I just wanted to comment! I so much love my wife & I am so thankful for her!! I know she is an answer to many prayers! Only a man can pray that he will find the one that God has picked out just for him! God has blessed me so much with Nicole! Most of all I know I married a Christian wife, wonderful mother, best friend & soul mate!! Thank you God for Nicole!!
I love you Nicole!!
Jan Wade